Over the last few months, life has settled into a new routine. Chicago on Monday to work the week away in the “Windy City”, then back to Colorado on Thursday to hike the weekend away in the mountains. In my downtime I have been studying, praying and reading - looking for what it means to Prepare. Out of this search, a burden has been placed on me to begin practicing my writing. To this end, I have written my thoughts and responses to the words of II Peter in my own version of a commentary (some select passages can be viewed here). While I may not have a traditional biblical training background, I have been a life long student of the bible and I write what I know and feel in my heart.
June 2006 opens with me arriving in Colorado Springs. For now, some dear friends have graciously allowed me stay with them as I allow God to direct me daily in what my next step is. The clear direction I get from God is this, Rest and then Prepare. I spend most of June resting and allowing myself to learn what proper relaxation is. Near the end of June, I find myself back in familiar territory, working as a consultant for a previous boss, commuting weekly from Colorado to Chicago. Now comes the next part of life – to Prepare.
May of 2006 found me finally broken down and allowing God to completely direct me. I made a step of faith that only the crazy few try. This step of faith would find me falling on my face if God did not step in. I sold my car, turned in my apartment keys, and loaded up all my possessions into a rented truck and began driving. The 3 days of driving melted the stress, anguish and heartache away from me by the mile. Even though I had no job, no permanent place to live, and only knowing 1 family in this new city, I felt a peace that used to be mine, and now was once again.
In March 2006 I visited a friend in Colorado Springs. When the plane touched down, I felt a peace and a feeling that I was home. Growing up in NC and living there all of my life, but traveling a lot, NC was always home, but over the last several months, it no longer was – now I knew where home was for me. Once I came back from my vacation, I began to plan how my life would shape up. I prepared for leaving my current place, making sure everything at my job was in the best position to leave to someone else, ensuring that my ministry responsibilities were cleaned up as best as possible, and began in earnest trying to find a job, or career move, or something to support me moving 1,600 miles away to my new home. Near daily, as my search to find a job in the new place was fruitless, I cried out to God, where is it? You say Go, I feel confirmation of a place to go, and yet nothing is lining up the way I need it to for me to go. Through my cries, God constantly re-iterated 1 thing… “Go.”
By January of 2006, I had seen incredible heartache; both in myself, and in the church that I grew up in and knew as home. I felt an incredible longing to move on, but unsure of how or where that was to be. Since I am a safe person, I was not willing to completely uproot myself without a known destination and purpose. Over the next couple of months, the unrest in my soul grew, and I felt God calling me to my own Abram journey. Earlier in life, I had been called out and given a new name, Spirit Wind – one who moves on the wind with the Spirit of God, and now it was time to find my own journey to Canaan. God said Go, reluctantly I said OK. I asked God, Where?, and He repeated Go.
In 2005, my soul was worn out, tired, and ready to give up. I had given of my all where I was planted, and I was done. Ready to seek out a new start, I had a yearning to accomplish the great things that I knew I was capable of, but also knew that I had to be willing to leave my home to find those great things.
